What do all master communicators have in common? They listen.
I think we can all agree that if we’re having a lousy day or going through a break-up, we are going to pick up the phone to call our best friend — not our boss. Seems pretty obvious, right? But, why? Why not our boss? Well obviously, it’s unprofessional, but let’s put that aside for a moment. Why not call your boss and gush to them all the terrible things your significant other did or didn’t do during your 2-year relationship.
It’s uncomfortable. Your boss isn’t going to listen to you the way your best friend will. Your best friend is going to connect with you emotionally, actively listen to your story, and skip the “there’s plenty of the fish in the sea” nonsense.
There’s a reason we go to certain people in times of distress. And something they all have in common? They will listen.
The best people to talk to listen to you, They are genuine, they are a part of the conversation — not just bystanders. The best communicators, from antiquity to modern-day, share this characteristic.
Despite her name, her fame, or her prestige, Michelle Obama is a symbol of what a modern communicator should strive to be. She conveys messages to the masses with sincerity and authenticity. She’s likeable, relatable. She delivers her messages with intent. She’s poised and elegant. But above all, she listens to others. Not just with her words, but with her actions.
Michelle’s speech at the 2016 Democratic National Convention is an excellent example of her as an outstanding communicator. She discusses Barack, her children, her entire daily life in depth. Despite being First Lady of the United States, she emphasizes how like everyone in that audience, they too are all they’ve got. When called for, she provides a bit of comedic relief. She takes pauses for emphasis. Uses gestures meaningfully and sparingly.
It’s Michelle’s ability to make you feel comfortable, safe, and listened to that makes her stand out as a communicator. I hope to emulate her graceful approach as a future communicator.
Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Something to keep in mind as we all continue to be communicators in our personal and public lives.
The power of documentaries
Erison and the Ebola Soccer Survivors is an 11-minute heart-wrenching video revealing the devastating effects of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. Erison Turray, one of nearly 16,000 survivors, founded a soccer team in an attempt to destigmatize ebola survivors. Many people stigmatize survivors and alienate them from their communities. Erison’s soccer team seeks to show that they too, are and can be real people.
The documentary produced by New York Times video journalist Ben C. Solomon is an example of an excellent, intriguing, and tasteful piece on a sensitive and saddening subject matter. It makes me feel sad, mad, but above all, grateful.
The documentary begins with a high-pitched yet low-frequency sound. We see someone on a motorbike, but his face is cut out of the shot. He’s riding down an empty street with surrounding greenery and unmaintained houses. The audience is left wondering, who is this on the motorbike? What is he doing? Who is sick, and why? The camera switches to shuffling through portrait shots — pictures of Erison’s family members who have died of ebola. We now know, Erison is a survivor.
One minute in, the text “10 months ago” appears on screen, and the music stops. We now see real footage and hear real sounds of members of the community sick, dying, and left with no hope. The juxtaposition between the calm, low sound and the chaos of these clips draws you in. The natural and very-real sounds that we now hear are put there in an attempt to transport us there.
Erison doesn’t talk much throughout the video. When he does, he says a few words. “Little by little,” “I’m alone left,” “I lost 38% of my family”. But those few words are powerful; he doesn’t need to say more. Moreover, it’s authentic. It’s Erison’s voice, not someone else reading a quote.
The back and forth between the text on screen and the Erisons audio keeps us engaged through the video. If you look away, you may miss something important.
The music switches to an upbeat sound on cue with Erison saying, “we need to help ourselves” The documentary takes us back to Erisons life before Ebola to contrast just how much it has changed. More than a story about an ebola survivor, Erison’s story is one about hope. Erosion turned his anger and sadness and transformed it into something meaningful and hopeful. This piece is impactful because it’s not just a profile or a documentary. It’s framed to be a story of hope, of starting new. It challenges all of us, it puts everything into perspective.
The documentary concludes with one incredibly powerful message from Erison: “so long as I have a life I just have hope”. Well isn’t that something we should all live by?
zehratopbas 